Tag: cornell

sophomore year (so far.)

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and when i turned in my final, the first semester of my sophomore year is over. i’m on the next bus to syracuse and the next flight out to atlanta.

it’s a weird feeling–i was homesick for the most part of this semester and was dying to go home. all semester long, i’ve wanted to give my family a huge bear hug and see their faces. not to say that those feelings have gone away after my finals ended, but i get closer to seeing them, the reality that the semester is over is become more real, too.

as i walked to my final final (heh), i had looked outwards at the all too familiar west campus, the day-old snow crunching under my shoes. as happy as i am to be finally done with finals season, the reality is that my time at cornell has an expiration date of four years, and every time i leave campus for break–summer or winter–is one closer to the final time i leave campus. eight semesters, eight departures. i’ve used up two, and tomorrow would be my third. and before i knew it, i would be hitting my eighth and final. while i don’t know what it’s like to feel that way yet–hitting that last goodbye–the bittersweetness i feel now only foreshadows what i’ll be feeling five semesters from now.

yet, even with these bittersweet undertones, i feel as though as my time at cornell goes on, the ‘bitter’ started to overpower the ‘sweet’. whereas freshman year was full of hope and excitement and aspirations and eagerness, sophomore year was… different. i know all too well that a lot of us become jaded by our second year, roughened around the edges by not just cornell’s winters but also its demanding pace… and unfortunately i was not the exception. i was less inspired. numb, in fact. for me, sophomore year was a mix of frustration, loneliness, and defeat punctured by the occasional moments of happiness.

don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad. however, for the better part of this year, i felt lost. i feel like i’m just searching and searching, but what i’m looking for isn’t there. and no, i’m no longer chasing the elusive concept of happiness, but more like a place and a sense of purpose. i think i’ve momentarily lost my place–i know this feeling won’t be here to stay, but it’s something that’s just been bothering me. i go through the motions and i study and i work hard and i participate in the community and socialize and try to be a high-functioning ivy league student who [appears] to have everything figured out. but at the end of the day, i’m not sure where i’m headed, i don’t see an end point, and there’s a bit of fear mixed in with confusion and displacement.

and therein lies the reason that i want to go home–i desperately need a break from this place. the familiarity of home and family is all too welcome after a semester of what feels like swimming against the current.

maybe it’s all a part of growing up. or maybe it’s just sophomore year.

 

thanksgiving 2016

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the ‘i don’t live in the northeast’ struggle: every thanksgiving/break, i have to somehow find a way to get through the break with:

1. adequate food (dining halls are closed during break)

2. adequate social interaction (campus is so crazy quiet on big breaks like thanksgiving)

last thanksgiving, i spent it eating mini bagels in my own dorm (they weren’t even toasted, ugh) because all of my friends went home and i didn’t have anyone to spend it with. i didn’t want to go through the hassle and money to buy a plane ticket back go georgia, so i just stayed.

this thanksgiving, i was lucky enough to be invited to stay with my best friend in washington d.c. (well, a suburb of, but you get the idea) over break. and of course meet up with other friends (apparently everyone lives in that area), take a break from schoolwork, and recharge before diving back into the cruel, cruel reality of finals. i’ll be sharing some pictures here for you all to enjoy.

College + Dorm Room Essentials

Today I’ll be sharing with you guys some of the thing I can’t live without while I’m in college. :) This isn’t a comprehensive to-buy list but rather just some college and dorm room essentials that may be less talked about or likely forgotten. Hope this is helpful for some of you and be sure to check out my youtube channel! (more…)

Thoughts & Advice for Freshmen Year

advice for freshmen year

this video was made in conjunction with the video on my youtube channel. c: It’s not exactly the same as this post has more information, but it has similar main ideas.

It is now almost the end of summer, which means back to school time for most of us who are still college-aged. I can now almost officially call myself a college sophomore, so I want to impart some of my newfound “wisdom” now that I’m no longer a wide-eyed, bushy tailed freshman. (more…)

My Freshmen Year in Pictures

It’s so crazy to think that my first year at Cornell is now officially over. I took a moment to read last year’s (Senior year) reflection on this blog, look at graduation pictures, etc… and I think I left high school feeling uncertain about what the future will bring, but this year has crushed those uncertainties and replaced them with a lot of joy and aspirations and positive vibes.

So in case you missed the pictures on Facebook, here’s my freshmen year in pictures. (more…)