My summer is more than halfway over now, and with five weeks of my internship under my belt, I’m finally ready to write about it. I’m not going to lie–I’ve been putting this post off for a while now for two reasons: one to gather my thoughts together, and two to make sure the feelings that I’m feeling is not temporary.

For those of you who don’t know (and I’ve only mentioned this on Facebook so, if you are not a Facebook follower, then chances are you don’t know!), I scored an amazing opportunity this summer as an intern at the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Never in my life during high school could I have imagined that as a freshman, I would be able to work there, and still, every day as I walked into work I feel the slightest bit of disbelief that I’m a CDC intern.

I think I might save my internship experience for another post on another day, but here’s what I realized: I hate growing up

As kids, we dream of the things we might do one day (at least I did!). For me, the things I might do one day included going to college and maybe “saving the world” in my own little way (at the very least, making a positive change). I would eventually get a career, make my own financial decisions… and later on, settle down, get a kid or two, and be happy. That’s life, right?

But I will say that, now that I’m in this “growing up” stage, there’s a part of me that wishes I can reverse time and be a kid again. Summers with only the simple obligations of practicing piano and studying for the SATs. Summers without 8-hour work days. Summers spent with my sisters, baking and reading books and watching movies. Summers when I can make plans with friends without having to reschedule three or four times because they too, are working. Summers when I wake up at 6am on weekends because I’m so full of energy instead of summers when I wake up at 9am because I know it’s the only days I’ll be able to sleep in.

Don’t get me wrong, I really am enjoying my internship. (again, saving that experience for another post on another day :) ) Without it, I wouldn’t be learning or growing. Without it, I wouldn’t have a little more financial independence. Without it, I wouldn’t be working towards the career I want. There’s so many positive things about working and interning over the summer–it’s just that sometimes, I miss the times I’m little and too eager to grow up and I miss the simplicity of life as a little girl.

I know that life only gets harder from here. Now that I’ve gotten a taste of working a forty-hour work week, devoting eight hours of my life to my job and two hours a day on my daily commute, I realized how easy I have it up till now, just working hard at school. And you’re damn right that I will be cherishing every single moment of my next few years in undergrad.

I’m excited to go back to school later in August. It means postponing the rest of growing up, at least for a little while. Life is as sweet as it gets in college. 

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